Being alone is a fear which every one has
and now I'm alone.
Here in my Bathroom.
My parents are gone out for dinner. I said I'm tired and
want to eat at home.
I don't eat, I don't want to eat. I hate food.
The music from Silverchair is playing
in the background, "my suicidal dream".
I turn it off, I want silence.
I close the door of the bathroom. I'm standing in front of my mirror
and I only feel hate for the person
which is standing in front of me.
Once upon a time I was happy, it is long time ago.
I could remember but I can't feel the happiness from
these times.
Mascara is running down my cold cheeks. I cry,
but I cry quite.
No one should hear me and my pain, my loneliness.
I'm looking out of the window to the stars
and thinking that one slice down my arms
and I'll be gone.
I wish someone would come to me,
kiss me and tell me that I'll be okay.
Don't deny my love.
I think of the endless nights of crying myself
to sleep..
closing my eyes feeling nothing only the emptiness
of my heart.
My world is destroying it's self.
My action result in only more pain. I have waited to long,
it has to end.
The pain, the emptiness, my life.
I look in the mirror one last time to what I have become.
And I hate it.
It hurts so much.
I climb in the tub. The cold water is surrounding my frail
thin sickly body. I place the razor to my arm and slide it down.
The skin screams as it drowns in red.
My head is going back. Back in time.
The blood is flowing more and more.

For a second I grasp at my arm thinking what the fuck have
I done?
I have slit my writs and this is how I will die.
Fuck all those who told me to get
over the pain.
This is not a game.
I can't win and you can't lose.
It's a hard life and it got the best of me.
So cold bathtub suicide is were my body lays...
Waiting for the early morning to come
and take my soul..